It doesn't hurt,
really,
really,
really.
Because I'm listening to a song with the same name.
I've lost something dear to me today.
It's like losing my arms and limbs.
It always happens,
it always happened,
because it did before.
I lost many, dear to me.
But it didn't hurt as much as it did today.
It was pouring,
I was in the middle of a grass field.
It was more than pouring,
I was in the middle of a grass field,
I was running,
running so mindlessly.
I couldn't see anything.
I saw it drop,
but I couldn't see where it was.
Suddenly,
I stopped running.
And started shouting,
FUCK!
FUCK!
I shouted.
FUCK!
But the four letter word didn't help me find it.
So it was just me, and the rain.
I searched the field for an hour or so,
but to no avail.
I just couldn't find it.
Maybe, it's supposed to happen.
Maybe, I'm supposed to lose it.
Maybe, I'm supposed to try to find it.
Maybe, I'm supposed to fail trying to find it.
It's not another stupid story of mine.
Because it's true.
I lost it.
Like how I found it recently.
I mentioned finding something,
something so worn,
so tattered,
I stopped wearing it,
only to start wearing it again,
only to lose it again,
this time,
permanently.
Maybe it's what they call,
it's meant to be.
I lost something dear to me today,
so dear,
so painful,
it didn't hurt.
I read it umpteen times,
5 times,
10 times,
15 times,
20 times,
25 times,
30 times.
But neither do I.
a girl in blue
hiding in silence
how misconstrued
her false nonchalancei like you everywhere.
I'd love to really say that, truthfully.