Monday, June 25, 2007
~ Fleeting ~
Melancholia,
her dreams and colours,
that faded.
Paranoia,
the blood and tears,
that were hers.
Cruelty,
the chains and shackles,
he had cast.
Sanity,
her heart and soul,
he had bound.
Demented,
her blithe and laughter,
that was shattered.
Convicted,
the love and blunders,
she committed.
Forgotten,
the heart and roses,
that had withered.
Forsaken,
the thoughts and secrets,
she had burnt.
I'd love to find my heart.
5:37 PM; `dead.Y
Sarang hae yo, means I love you.
Ah, Scarborough Fair.
'Twas a long time since I've heard it.
Lovely song.
...
Are you going to the Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.
Remember me to one who lives there.
She was once a true love of mine.
...
Was back a few days ago.
Hadn't the energy to type something long though.
Nothing exciting happened these days.
Oh, and I was at the first rehearsal for NDP.
Lovely fireworks.
Had lots of fun today.
Went out with my JC classmates.
Went to KBox.
Sang my heart away.
I guess I do love singing, and.. I think I'm not that bad at it either.
We shall see.
It's been ages since I had fun.
Since I smiled.
Since I laughed.
Guess there's more to life,
than playing games.
I'd love to smile more.
12:06 AM; `dead.Y
Sunday, June 24, 2007
I'm just a creep.
I'd love to stop being one.
12:50 AM; `dead.Y
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Angels lie.
I'd love to be an angel, once.
3:12 PM; `dead.Y
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Slumber.
I'd love to sleep.
1:48 AM; `dead.Y
Friday, June 15, 2007
Back, after a long, gruelling week.
Pretty damn tired.
Probably will update more tomorrow, or later.
Depends.
I think I'll be even more tired next week.
Have to book in early again.
I hate this.
I'd love to do this.
9:34 PM; `dead.Y
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Speak to me.
It was never about me, wasn't it?
I don't feel like I exist.
No one actually bothers about what I say.
No one gives a damn.
Let me die.
Maybe people'll start noticing me when I die.
Maybe not.
I'd love to stop crying alone.
10:24 PM; `dead.Y
I'm gonna break my promise
I'm not a good keeper of one anyway.
Fuck you guys.
I'd love to stop hating.
3:32 PM; `dead.Y
Hey,back.
Spent the whole day, sleeping, watching TV, eating, reading and doing some lifeless stuff.
I had a.. weird dream, I guess, yesterday.
I dreamt about, this girl I used to dream about, and I hadn't dreamt her in a long time.
I dreamt I.. kissed her.
Twas' a wonderful feeling.
To think someone told me I've gotten over her.
I wonder.
Saw her recently, while I was out there.
She's still as beautiful and elegant and stuff.
But she's so far away, and I'm confused.
I never knew what I wanted. Never gotten what I wanted.
Come to think of it, how do I get what I want, when I never knew what I want.
I think she used to say, "You can't lose what you never had."
I guess it's something like that.
I give up.
I think I've become.. less able to communicate with people these days.
I can't express.
I have nothing to say, at all.
People tell me I do stuff, in full consciousness, of what other people will think of what I do.
Or.
Maybe I've been like that all along.
I guess that's why I've never been in any relationships before.
It doesn't hurt either.
I emphatise with myself too much.
I'm much too sensitive, about what others think about me.
I'm not natural, I don't feel natural, had never been natural.
I try to please people too much, so much so, I've lost myself.
I..just don't have character.
Maybe I'd change.
Maybe not.
I wonder what any of you think of me.
I'll wrap up for now.
Enough self-degradation.
I'd love to be more colourful.
12:29 AM; `dead.Y
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Booking in.
Seriously bored.
I think I need a psychiatrist.
By the way,
couldn't comprehend what you said.
Fifth Sunday?
I think,
speaking normal english once in a while doesn't hurt.
I think I'm losing myself.
So, someone bring me back.
I was told I was mentally healthier than a few others.
But I think the last vestiges of my sanity are crumbling now.
I wonder.
I'd love to open my eyes.
7:35 PM; `dead.Y
`you don't know.you,
once upon a summer,
untainted.
dancing,
oblivious to the winds.
nocturnal,
tantalizing beauty
kaleidoscopic,
nascent charms,
of dreams and colours.
wizardry.
Indignation!
lost,
obsequious to slavish love.
vehement,
enervated by lies and deceit.
you,
once upon a summer,
unrequited.
I'd love to smile again.
12:54 AM; `dead.Y
Saturday, June 2, 2007
`princess.A cherry tree,
those maple leaves.
A princess pines.
A love letter,
those red roses.
A princess finds.
A teddy bear,
those chocolates.
A princess smiles.
A blank paper,
those white roses.
A princess mulls.
A torn letter,
those broken wings.
A princess cries.
A withered heart,
those black roses.
A princess dies.
A lonely storm,
those white snowflakes.
A princess weeps.
A chilling wind,
those creeping vines.
A princess sleeps.
A hazy mist,
those butterflies.
A princess senses.
A hint of love,
those dandelions.
A princess dances.
"Love is..."
A fateful kiss,
those sweet nothings.
A princess loves.
"You."
I'd love to stop bleeding.
7:04 PM; `dead.Y
Sleepy.
Hadn't the time to update yesterday, not like it'd be anything interesting anyway.
As usual, nothing much to say.
Too much into games these days, can't stop, it's like poison.
Maybe I'll write a long one, when I start thinking cognitively.
Maybe.
I'll..reply on your cbox again.
I reckon I'd probably have social issues too.
Issues that are much deadlier than yours.
I wonder if you'd read this.
Tell me you are reading this.
Secrets.
Are a painful thing to keep.
Wouldn't you agree with me?
I'd love to wake up.
12:19 AM; `dead.Y