Monday, July 30, 2007
Yay.
I thought I won't see you for this week.
Ha.
But you're crazy.
I'd love to find a new word for elation.
6:39 PM; `dead.Y
Ha, just felt like updating.
No idea why.
Oh, I came across a really nice song.
Quite old though.
I was listening to this last night.
"If"
If a picture paints a thousand words,
then why can't I paint you.
The words will never show the you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships,
then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you,
You're all that's left me too.
And when my love for life is running dry,
you come and pour yourself on me.
If a man could be two places at one time,
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.
If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die.
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
then one by one the stars will all go out,
then you and I, will simply fly away.
"If"
Lovely, isn't it.
Love the song.
Ha.
I realised, I've had a couple of nightmares these days.
Hmm, wonder why.
They seem to revolve around the same thing.
Ha, my mom is nagging.
I don't know, but I've this weird feeling.
About.
Well.
Nothing.
've been trying to fix up my old com.
It's really, I guess, dying.
Gosh, my dark eye rings are surfacing!
Die.
Hmm, have to call you in half an hour.
Gosh, a bit dizzy, a bit sleepy.
And my mom's still making noise.
Ha, this week, will be total crap.
I'll be in there for 1 week, I'll go crazy.
Like seriously crazy.
These days, time in there, pass so slowly, too slowly.
Every minute, somehow, is an excruciating pain, a torment, a torture.
Gosh , and then, it'll be a week before I'll see you again.
So that's crap.
Should've chosen to go out with you today.
But hey, that'll be selfish, because you'll need rest.
Maybe, sometimes you should try not to work yourself until so late.
I don't know.
Ha.
I don't know, but sometimes, I feel that,
I don't know, that you're further away than I thought.
Like.
Just far away.
Yes, yes, you, who's reading this.
Don't ask me, I don't know.
Hope I felt wrongly?
Ha.
Hopeee, and all that's left inside the box, was hope huh.
Then I'll open the box, no matter what it takes.
Or, maybe, I'm just thinking too much again.
Bad habit!
Ha, this blog is almost becoming, like another me, who's trying to talk to you.
Maybe, to say stuff I normally couldn't.
But hey, I did make this blog for you.
Unless you didn't mean what you said.
Who knows.
I don't know why, but I suddenly feel like crying.
For no reason, gosh.
Must be the song.
It's realllyyy nicee.
Don't chase me away.
8:48 AM; `dead.Y
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Hmmm.Hello.
I'm feeling random today.
No idea why.
Slightly sleepy, tired.
Well, I was out the whole day.
Hmm, went to my ex-section mate's concert thingy today.
Lesser Sung Broadway.
Oh my God, it was beautiful.
My friend sang really well, he was like, fantastic.
Absolutely.
It was really funny.
Because, he was like, performing halfway, then we started waving to him.
From the audience seat.
Righttt.
Then, my friend took interest in one of the performers,
like, this girl who was older than us by I think, 2 years.
So like, we kept teasing him, then tried to hook him up after the concert.
HAHA.
Yeah, that's about all for today.
Hmm, it sounds like, there's less self-exploration these days.
It's gonna be negative anyway.
Ha, I was asked.
If I had a talent.
What would it be.
Hmm, I guess you know the answer.
You asked it.
I just felt like writing here anyhow.
I don't need other talents.
Ha.
I'd love to feel less random.
11:45 PM; `dead.Y
Saturday, July 28, 2007
I'm dreaming.
Ha.
Who am I kidding.
Myself?
I need to stop lying to myself.
11:52 PM; `dead.Y
Thursday, July 26, 2007
I've had a nightmare.
I dreamt I made you cry.
Really.
I'd love to draw better.
9:15 PM; `dead.Y
Oh hello, back for a while.
Will be back tonight anyhow.
Ha.
Hmm, this post was supposed to be for me to whine.
But I have this friend, who told me to be positive about stuff.
I told him I was a negative person, but he was rather adamant about it.
Oh well.
Hmm, but he's rather right.
Ha.
So yeah, I'll not whine.
It was supposed to be rather drama, hmm, because I wrote it down in my notebook.
It had a lot of stuff.
Bad stuff.
Something along lines of not having the right to love.
Talk about asking people not to fill themselves up with negativities.
How ironic.
Ha, I shan't say anymore.
Well.
Gosh, my turn to stomachache.
Oh, and.
I know how to say it already.
You say you're not beautiful,
but it's up to me to think that you are.
Ha.
I win, yay me. =]]]
Hmm, I've just seen this sweet video.
Kewt.
It's about.
Being yourself.
Something I haven't been able to do.
Since forever.
P.S.
Hmm, actually Kimmie, by intruders I wasn't meaning more readers. Ha. It's just this person who doesn't tag anymore. Nevermind. Thanks for the good intention anyway. It's ok if you still bring readers though. But, no one would be interested anyhow. Ha, it's way too much whining and stuff that people wouldn't understand. Still, thank you.
I'd love to bleed in your place.
1:09 PM; `dead.Y
Monday, July 23, 2007
Ha.Hello reader, or possibly for some miraculous reasons, readers.
Hmm.
Had a pretty much uneventful week.
Oh, and changed the background music to something nicer.
Ha.
Someone likes this song.
But hey, yeah it's nice.
Anyhow, it's called Glamorous Sky,
by NANA or Mika Nakashima, who played the role of Nana.
Hmm, crap.
Crap 'cuz I lost some donation card thing, and have to make a police report later.
The.. Helicopter and the Flying Wizard with a Scar on his Forehead series ends this week.
Aww, pre-ordered the book, but hadn't much chance to devour it.
A quarter way through though.
Hopefully, no one I like dies.
Pretty much impossible though, judging by the hype and speculations revolving the death of people like Helicopter or Ron or Hermione.
But hey, I've always been a naive person.
And hope my naivety works.
=]]]
Eew, triple chins.
Nice. Ha.
Oh yes, 've been listening to a couple of songs by people I don't usually listen to this week.
Namely, J J Lin.
Hmm, but his Killa song is not bad, I love the darkness and stuff theme.
It narrates this, psychotic guy who's madly infatuated with this girl.
He stalks, hounds and follows her around.
He probably took 348324 pictures of her and was admiring them for 25 hours a day.
Yeah.
Then eventually, he abducts her, inject her with some stuff.
Make her play the piano with him, dance with him, without her being conscious.
Mad, and obsessed.
Eventually, he makes his love eternal, I think.
By.. like, killing her, cut her into pieces, the most prominent action being decapitation.
And crowns her with his jeweled crown and stuff.
And making her body wear this nice gown, and she becomes his showcase of his idea of love.
Dark, but nice.
And yeah, I love his outlook, with his nerdy, black plastic-framed glasses and stuff.
Eew, and the fish fillet thing at Delifrance today was terrible.
Your brown rice thingy probably tasted better.
Noooo, I'm not lying.
Please, I know what you'd say.
HAHA, then there was the, mickey mouse shirt.
Ha, and bread + chilli sauce.
Probably only you could think of such stuff, but it's niceee.
Gosh, which reminds me, I probably acted like some stalker too, like how I'd sneak from behind you.
Boo, I could kill you. =x
So that adds up to 4 possibilities, excluding suicide.
It was never a possibility. =]]]
I'll never let it become one anyway.
Hmm, and some other stuff.
But I think I'll leave it for next time.
Not now, not soon.
End.
[On a side note, Blogspot tells me that I've posted this entry, on 3:30:00 PM today, nice timing.]I'd love to protect you forever.
3:30 PM; `dead.Y
Sunday, July 22, 2007
A duel.
I'd love the story behind it.
11:54 PM; `dead.Y
Hmm, people used to say, that there's a story,
behind every picture.
So here's one.
Once upon a time,
there was this boy.
On this very fateful day,
dated 21/07/07,
he started looking on the World Wide Web.
For?
For very nice pictures of some red-coloured fruit.
So that he can put it on his display picture,
in Windows Live Messenger.
Then he found his picture.
And he lived happily ever after,
after he decides to put it on forever.
Like,
forever is but a short time.
I'd love to live happily ever after.
9:56 AM; `dead.Y
Saturday, July 21, 2007
[This post was deleted at the request of the author,
because he has secrets he can't say.]
I'd love to keep it a secret.
8:44 AM; `dead.Y
A wastepaper basket full of lies.
I'd love to shred what's in it.
1:42 AM; `dead.Y
Friday, July 20, 2007
`挽回当我想起回忆重叠的画面,
昨天还是下雨天。
当你咬着嘴唇对我说再见,
我崩溃在你面前。
我安静看着老旧的照片,
回想爱你的时间。
我与你在秋季时的相恋,
挽回在骤雨来临前。
当我想起与你邂逅的画面,
我终于发现。
你说过你不爱美丽的谎言,
但我已把你欺骗。
我将对你剩下的那几丝眷恋,
编织成琴弦。
放在桌上装满谎言的信件,
都已撕成碎片。
你熟悉的背影渐渐走远,
今天又是下雨天。
就算只是多二十五秒的甜,
挽回在故事的最后一篇。
`挽回Hmm, this is the first time I've written some stuff in chinese.Not bad though.
And it wasn't that difficult to write.
Ha.
Hmm, I'm still eating the cake.
And it's still damn nice.
Haven't been able to write properly for so long.
Hmm, but I've nothing much to say though.
At least not for now.
Oh, and.. I've got to clear the Cbox for some reason.
Aww, it had like nice messages in it though.
Too baddd.
Hmm, if you guys, or you probably, can't read the chinese, tell me.
I'll...read it out!
Haha, how ridiculous.
Hmmm, probably going for some surgical operation next month.
We'll see.
For some reason, I think I'm going crazy.
I'd love to read the signs.
8:12 PM; `dead.Y
Monday, July 16, 2007
`secretsAs I pour away the coffee,the feelings I suppressed were left far behind.
Looking at the past I try so hard to save,
it was still so clearly seen on my face.
Rainy days weren't the most beautiful,
it was the shelter that we both hid under.
Those torn memories,
swinging to and fro,
as my dreams lose their colours.
You said if you were to gradually forget love,
you'd be able to walk further.
So why change the paths you've walked before.
You use your fingertips to stop me,
from saying goodbye.
I struggle to imagine you by my side,
before I lose these memories.
You said if you were to gradually forget love,
you'd be able to walk further.
Perhaps, fate had scripted only our meeting.
Those memories only lasted an autumn.
And only when I start to reminisce,
I realise,
I had no idea,
how to pick up those remnants of broken happiness.
`secretsHa. A sudden loss of words.
Had a lot of iSketch fun yesterday,
though I wasn't the one who drew,
nor guessed.
But someone's laughters made the night.
I know I'm hard to please,
but.
Yeah.
Well, I still hadn't kicked the habit of,
not speaking my mind.
I'll do that in a while.
'Next time' then.
Yesterday... was easily the best birthday of my life.
Although I was the one who gave people gifts.
=X
I'd like to thank the someone who made it possible.
I don't know.
Thank you.
Maybe, I guess,
I'm happier these days.
But that's only because you were here.
Ha, and the cake you made was fabulous.
I'll finish it.
Hmmm, if I were to say the truth, I almost vomited yesterday.
But hey, it was because I was too full, not because it wasn't nice.
Hmm, my maid suddenly asked me, 'Mummy bring the cake can or not?'
I was quite shocked, and shouted, 'NO!'
Fortunately she had only brought a little.
Ha, I'm crazy.
But I guess this is what keeps me alive, my madness and you and some other friends who care.
And, I'm not sensitive, I mean to say 'that person is not my friend' when I say it.
Not because I said I have no friends.
And you're not lonely.
I hope you realise this.
Secrets..
Hard to keep, no?
Just a random thought.
Promises too.
But I can try.
I'd like to walk further too, but I probably can't.
Yeah, I guess I cannot forget stuff I'm not meant to forget.
I should learn, that heartaches are a part of life.
I should learn, to accept them.
Ha, random thoughts again.
No?
Anything, as long as you're happy.
Going madddd.
That's all for today.
I'd love this to be true.
9:40 AM; `dead.Y
Sunday, July 15, 2007
`you and meYou and me,
looking at the stars.
A mystical touch,
to the twilight skies.
The sky was dark,
the wind blowing.
You held me,
close.
You,
gave meaning,
to,
the silent milky way.
And if,
you were to tear.
The skies,
will pour.
And as the skies drizzle,
I quietly listen,
but I fail to understand,
Why you gave us up.
Siphoning away,
those resonating memories.
You left me alone to recall these melodies.
That spring,
that moment of breath.
I'm not very smart,
I thought I'll be able to,
protect you,
until my last breath.
I just, hadn't realised that it had ended.
You had left ages ago, but my mind is made up.
I'm old,
tired,
exhausted,
and changed.
No, that wouldn't be me.
Siphoning away,
those resonating memories.
You left me alone to recall these melodies.
`you and me
I'm a bad liar.
Someone told me before, that people like me,
hurt the people I love most.
Maybe I should stop loving,
so I'd stop hurting people.
Wouldn't that be the best solution.
Maybe I should stop caring,
so I can stop hurting people.
There was this short moment,
I had wished I was unfeeling,
then, I wouldn't know how heartaches feel.
I'd rather someone cut me up,
than feel those again.
Yeah, I'm a bad liar,
especially at lying to myself.
Help.
I feel like crying.
I'd love to stop being emo.
I'd love you to say yes,
but I rather you not lie.
Because,
I'd rather fall.
1:28 AM; `dead.Y
Sheng ri kuai le,
wo dui zi ji shuo.
Too many stuff.
Too little time.
Tomorrow then.
I'd love to die then.
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Thursday, July 12, 2007
`girl.There was this girl who told me,
protect her dream.
She said that the world,
had forgotten her.
She slowly forgets me,
Yet she doesn't realise,
I bled, and teared,
and never loved a moment more.
There was this girl who told me,
that I was a thief.
That I stole her memories,
And made it my own.
I do not need freedom,
I only need to carry her dreams.
I slowly make my way,
her dreams aren't that heavy, after all.
There was this girl who told me,
that she was happy.
I pray she wasn't lying,
as stars fall when angels cry.
She had wanted the stars,
and I'd steal one for her.
I'd bleed for her,
she'd mend my wounds.
Or..
Does she?
There was this girl who told me,
That I was a liar.
I'd laugh at her,
How she lied about me lying.
She was like a shooting star,
throwing me in darkness,
to reminisce alone.
I'd wait for her,
Even though her wings aren't that warm anymore.
And when dawn breaks,
I'd catch her tears,
I'd protect her.
From my lies.
Forever.
`girlOk.I'm like..back.
I guess I'm home.
Nothing much to say for now,
twas' a pretty uneventful week.
'Cept there was some iSketching to do.
Custard cream, and stuff.
Heh.
Oh, well.
Sounds like someone right.
I don't know.
HAHA.
=X I'm irritating.
Yay.
Will update more when I've stuff to say.
Well.
Welll.
Whyyyyy.
Ok, I'll shut up.
=]
I'd love to fly on paper wings.
11:24 PM; `dead.Y
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Mickey.
Another random word by some fruit.
HAHA.
This is mad.
I'd love to close my eye.
1:41 PM; `dead.Y
Why.
A random word by some particular fruit.
HAHA.
I'm going crazy.
I'd love to go crazy all the time.
1:26 PM; `dead.Y
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Reminiscence.
Tell me you're happy.
So that I will be.
So that..
I'll stop being pretentious.
I'll stop trying to hurt people.
I'll stop questioning.
So that...
So that.. I'll stop being the devil.
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Saturday, July 7, 2007
....
Maybe I do.
I'd love to take revenge against the world.
9:25 AM; `dead.Y
Thursday, July 5, 2007
3.
Why do I even care.
I'd love to stop trying.
6:36 PM; `dead.Y
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
4 more days.
Why am I counting down.
It almost feels like,
it doesn't matter anymore.
It's not like it's anything special.
Maybe I should stop.
Maybe.
I'd love to stop sinking.
8:32 PM; `dead.Y
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
5 more days.
I wonder.
Revelation?
Loss for words?
Or.
More questions.
I'd love to escape from the spiral.
9:21 PM; `dead.Y
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Back for a while.
But I haven't anything to talk about.
Another NDP rehearsal over.
Wasted life away.
I so..want to sing again.
Maybe I'd attend vocal lessons after I ORD.
Haha, what a joke.
Had this sudden feeling I didn't exist.
I realise, people don't talk to me with eye contact.
It feels cold.
Almost like... I'm not there.
Yeah, more of my whining about life.
Sick of it?
Not like anyone reads this.
I love my blog, like how I'd love my old one.
It's like somewhere to vent my frustrations.
To express stuff I couldn't express normally.
Argh, my english is getting more and more improper.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
I need to speak more proper english.
Hope blogging helps.
Hope,
such an unreliable word,
such an unreliable feeling,
such an ethereal entity.
I hate intangible stuff, I can't grasp them.
It's like love.
It's like stuff I've given up on.
It's like... I don't know.
I've this sudden idea.
Maybe I'd start writing some sort of story on my blog.
I don't know what kind, yet.
I'll try.
Fantasy's a nice theme.
[One more week]
[An eternity]
[Something I've been battling with]
[I'm.. losing.]
I'd love to steal a star from the skies.
10:18 PM; `dead.Y