Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Listening to a couple of new songs now.
It's titled, 'Rainbow'.
I realised I lost 2 notebooks.
Rather important.
I consider anything I cannot find now, lost.
Because my house is in such a mess now.
So, but.
If.
I find them back.
Can I continue the story.
I have this friend who used to say,
and I think I've said it before,
that one cannot lose what was never yours.
Hope I'll find them.
Then maybe I can continue writing.
Maybe.
How am I supposed to fall asleep,
if I do not see you smile.
Your silhouette so close,
but your hands I cannot reach.
I'd love to be splattered by colours.
9:14 PM; `dead.Y
Running out of time.
Truly.
Finally.
Moved house and stuff.
Had been really busy these days.
I think.
A bit unused to the place, but I don't dislike it as much as I thought I would.
Going back in.
I think.
These two months, had been for nothing.
I accomplished nothing.
At all.
Nothing.
I have no idea what to say, nor what to do.
As usual.
It's. Just.
I don't know.
I really, really don't know.
I only know how to say I don't know.
I'll be going back in.
I'll be skipping days.
So I guess I'll post them in advance.
But it seems like there's no point in it now.
I'm all by myself.
So you don't hurt anymore.
I'd love to be true.
6:21 PM; `dead.Y
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
22.
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
23.
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Monday, October 29, 2007
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
24.
1:18 AM; `dead.Y
Sunday, October 28, 2007
And so,
I was sorting out stuff today.
Don't know if I'll still get to blog tomorrow.
Wasted a whole day out there.
Kind of.
It's the last day,
I'll be typing this at this table.
It's the last day,
I'll be sleeping on the bed I used to sleep.
As I was saying.
I was sortin out my stuff today.
Well.
I don't know.
But.
I stumbled upon a box today.
It used to be not-so-important,
which probably explains why it was in a cardboard box,
hidden away from sight.
Maybe it's more important now.
You see,
it used to be a box,
that was a Valentine's Day gift from a certain person.
Well, it didn't used to be important.
I think.
It was meant to be for fun.
I think.
Yeah.
I don't know when I can come online again.
Maybe tomorrow,
maybe next week.
So maybe, I can't talk.
Well.
It's not as if you cared.
Ciao.
2:22 AM; `dead.Y
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
25.
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Yeah.
You know.
This is so whatever.
I'm self-centred.
I'm selfish.
I'm hypocritical.
I'm a liar.
I don't care for others.
I'm whatever con you can ever think of.
Okay fine.
11:19 AM; `dead.Y
784533.
763092.
33.
02.
Prolly my last chance to blog, for maybe a small while.
Because the computer has got to go.
Well.
I don't know what else to say.
Ciao.
9:35 AM; `dead.Y
I suck.
I just suck.
I really do.
1:58 AM; `dead.Y
Afraid of the truth,
afraid of everything.
Stupid excuses.
I'd too, love to say goodbye to halcyon days.
1:31 AM; `dead.Y
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
26.
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Friday, October 26, 2007
Yesternight, I dreamt an imaginary girl.
I really did.
2:58 PM; `dead.Y
Left,
and right.
Was out dinnering with my parents and stuff.
Wasn't really a good day.
I don't know.
But the dinner was good.
Probably the only comforting stuff of the day.
Sometimes, I'd think.
Maybe the person you're looking for, is really very near you.
You just don't know it.
I wonder if there was anytime it's like this.
I don't know how to express this, bad english.
But sometimes,
feel really quite stupid.
Just looking at the computer screen for hours.
Late at night, just waiting for you to come online.
Looking at the handphone screen.
Walking in the streets, wondering if the person over there,
is really you.
Walking in the streets, wondering if I might be able, by some luck,
see you.
Or something like that.
Hmm.
Sis use computer.
Off.
Ciao.
I'd love you to not be a figment of my imagination.
12:09 AM; `dead.Y
Thursday, October 25, 2007
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
27.
11:59 PM; `dead.Y
I won't act stupid.
I won't act as if I don't bother.
I won't act like I don't care.
I won't act nonchalant.
I won't hurt anyone else anymore.
I won't.
I'd really love to.
But I don't want to mix truth with fantasy.
7:32 PM; `dead.Y
Well.
Someone came online.
But didn't really got to talk.
Suddenly just, *poof* , gone.
K.
Hmm.
Was gonna say, today I met someone who looked like the person who looked like you.
I was like, OMGWTHBBQ.
Well, quite alike.
She even has a scar where you had yours too, but like opposite side.
Crazy.
Okay, didn't get to say this.
Well.
Then..
I realised very many things I thought,
were wrong.
I don't know if it's good, or bad.
Really, really wrong.
Then..
maybe nothing else.
Hols ending soon.
Gotta do some stuff.
And..well.
I'd love to be free from..
2:20 PM; `dead.Y
The most selfish way of protecting oneself.
I'd love to stop protecting myself then.
1:12 PM; `dead.Y
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
`28.
12:47 AM; `dead.Y
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I'm so greedy.
I'd love not to be.
1:35 AM; `dead.Y
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
29.
11:52 PM; `dead.Y
Got to do housekeeping tomorrow.
Supposed to have music lesson tomorrow.
But my cousin has dental appointment.
So yeah.
Maybe I'll opt to take the lesson alone or something.
Hmm.
Practised a bit of piano today.
Not very used to.. the new scores.
Hmm.
The last time I thought about talking to you,
a window pop-ed up.
Must try again.
*tries very hard*
Okay.
The latest news is that, I'll still have piano lesson tomorrow.
Good.
Then, what else.
Oh, next post or maybe the next few posts.
I'll try to.. post in the less standard sense.
Argh, you'll see.
Wouldn't it be good if we had 5 tries to our lives?
5 different jobs,
5 different dreams,
5 different hobbies,
5 different places to live,
5 different lifestyles,
and..
falling in love with the same person,
for 5 times.
Yeah, wouldn't it be good.
Okay, off to get fresh milk!
I'd love to try at least once.
11:22 PM; `dead.Y
Yess.
Finally got the scores to Secret.
As in, the official ones.
Haha, happy. <3
Hmm.
Practised quite some piano today.
Especially since the official scores are out, so there's quite a bit of difference.
Practised so much it's really quite tiring.
Moving off soon.
Sad.
Kind of.
Well.
Someone's home soon!
I think.
Okay.
Nevermind.
Ciao.
I've become quite lazy to talk these days.
=X
I'd love a pretty pretty girl.
12:19 AM; `dead.Y
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
30.
12:10 AM; `dead.Y
Monday, October 22, 2007
Piano.
Okay, off to piano.
This is quite a stupid post.
And.. damn.
I got scammed by my piano teacher!
Hmm, I think I've said this before.
Well.
I thought I woke up quite early.
In the end it turned out to be 11:00 PM.
Nice.
[Nope, no nice pictures today.]
12:09 PM; `dead.Y
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
31.
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Sunday, October 21, 2007
I'm a bad boy.
Oh my gawd.
Just done chatting.
Kthxbyegdniteslp.
I'd love a mug of slumbermead.
3:07 AM; `dead.Y
Oh my gawd.
These days I've been sleeping really late.
By my standards that is.
It's really.
Learn from someone one.
Hmmm.
Watched Resident Evil 3 tonight.
Niceee, but a bit lame.
So never waste money, haha.
Oh my gawd.
Today, in the MRT train, something funny happened to me.
Hmm.
I don't know how to describe in words.
I'll name it.. Inertia.
HAHAHA.
Okay, I'll chat for a while more before I go to sleep.
I'd love to know what's emerveillement.
2:02 AM; `dead.Y
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
32.
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Saturday, October 20, 2007
What was I going to say?
Hmm.
I used to not think so much.
Just do what I feel like doing, say what I feel like saying.
Just feel what I feel like feeling.
Is it like that, for you too?
Going out.
Off to watch movies.
(:
Hope it's good.
If not waste money.
Haha.
Sometimes.
I feel like.
I feel like.
Just.Grabbing.Your.Hands.And.Not.Let.Go.
but.i.know.i.can't.
4:58 PM; `dead.Y
I just had a really, really ridiculous idea.
Omfg.
No, seriously I'm going mad.
Crazy.
Insane.
Bonkers.
Whatever.
I'd love to get a hold on myself.
1:56 PM; `dead.Y
Yesterday, technically speaking, was my Dad's birthday.
So we kind of dinner-ed with him.
(:
Hmm.
Well.
I keep thinking of only one thing these days.
Well.
I don't know.
I'm quite.
Zuan niu jiao jian.
I'm really quite fussy.
And hmm,
I find problems with every single stuff that happens.
I'm crazy.
Well.
Hmm.
I gotta look at the bright side!
(:
Someone's gone over to Malaysia to playyyy.
Which reminds me, I haven't been to there for like, quite long.
Well.
Wonder when I can see you again.
Ha.
I'll remember to practise the piano.
I'd love to feed on it, even if they're just small doses.
1:04 AM; `dead.Y
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
33.
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Friday, October 19, 2007
There're many ants on the table.
I got reminded of certain.. unhappy stuff, I guess.
But no one cares.
I don't know if anyone does anymore.
I kind of slept my day away.
There wasn't anything to do.
Anyone to talk to.
Bought my dad stuff.
Then.. played some piano.
And slept.
And slept, and slept.
I'd fallen into such deep sleep.
Maybe it's the music.
What am I thinking now?
I don't really know.
Someone told me something weird to know yesterday.
I don't know.
Come to think of it.
It's quite sad.
Well, but it's over already.
Well, it's all about lying to myself, isn't it?
These days, I don't know what to say, or what should be said.
I don't know what to do, or what should be done.
That's because I fear.
I fear whatever I say, I'll screw things up.
Whatever I do, I'll screw things up.
I should be more natural.
I used to blog, because I wasn't very good at expressing myself.
So I thought people'd read my blog so people'll know me better.
But now it seems, I can't even say anything proper in my blog.
Hmm.
It's more like no one reads this anymore.
I do hope people'll read this.
I think.
Sometimes,
just that one reader is enough.
I wonder.
I'd love to stop feeding the crows.
12:17 AM; `dead.Y
Thursday, October 18, 2007
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
34.
11:41 PM; `dead.Y
Today.
I stumbled upon a book of memories.
It was empty.
There was nothing in it, except for a photo.
I guess I'll keep it with me.
I was, and am, being quite stupid these few days.
I think.
Well, nothing much.
I can only reminisce.
10:39 PM; `dead.Y
No, no.
What was I thinking.
I'd love to stop the poison.
10:14 PM; `dead.Y
What's the difference?
I'd love to still be... or maybe not.
10:11 AM; `dead.Y
Played very little piano today.
Well.
I have some time to practise tomorrow.
Got to do some housekeeping tomorrow.
Have to.
If not die.
Well.
I don't know.
Don't know what to say about some stuff.
Quite stupid, really.
Kind of laughable.
Once upon a time.
Wah, yesterday someone's sister, very fierce.
So fierce, I don't even dare to say hello.
=[
This reminds me, my sis also damn fierce.
She will scolding F just now.
Project stuff.
Anyhow, dinner's supposed to be on me.
So, you don't owe me money.
Lucky, you didn't have small change. =]
Well.
I really don't know.
Many doubts.
I'd love to be honest with my feelings.
12:48 AM; `dead.Y
Screw blogger.
I'm not updating proper.
Until they fix my image uploading.
Kthxbye.
12:47 AM; `dead.Y
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Was playing the piano.
Getting a bit better.
But not much.
Nothing much.
Nothing exciting.
This blog is really damn boring.
My bad.
Today, I was asked a question.
Maybe, I would've been able to answer yes, in the past.
I don't I can do that now.
No, not now.
How have stuff changed.
Hmm.
Maybe it's just me.
Got sent a very lame e-mail today.
*laughs*
Super lame.
[Blogger is not allowing me to upload images again, screw those assholes.]
12:18 PM; `dead.Y
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Back.
Didn't play much piano.
Turned out I don't have lessons tomorrow.
Yayness.
I don't sound yay, do I.
2 months almost out.
Well, it's not about the hols.
Well.
I'd hate them iced.
11:40 PM; `dead.Y
Going off to photocopy some piano scores.
Still haven't practised enough.
Screw it anyway.
See how tomorrow.
I think I'm going over to my cousin's house.
Practise piano or something.
Ciao.
I miss an imaginary girl.
[Blogger is currently having problems with uploading its images. So yeah.]
6:54 PM; `dead.Y
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Monday, October 15, 2007
Let the rain hide the tears.
Don't we all do that?
I'd love to, too.
11:24 PM; `dead.Y
I'm dancing mad.
Played a bit of piano today.
But, not enough.
Gawd.
I'm so dead.
Ate some sinful stuff today.
Well.
Hmm.
That's all.
I'd love to dance in the rain.
11:14 PM; `dead.Y
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Sunday, October 14, 2007
I am extremely tired.
Period.
Was out for like one and a quarter days.
Had tons of fun, maybe.
Two of my friends are going overseas due to SAF stuff.
One to Taiwan, another to Brunei.
So I'm supposed to like meet up with them before they go off.
So on Saturday, a bunch of friends and I went to Sentosa.
We kind of like, booked a room at the Siloso Beach Resort.
Woot.
We went to the beach, played some games.
Went around to eat stuff, quite nice.
Quite expensive too.
Like, a cup of drink can cost 9 bucks?
Imba.
Den we played card games, PSP, DSes and watched teevee through the night.
Fun.
We were like, sort of gambling.
We played blackjack.
Then I won $_$.
HAHAHA.
Total ownage.
We also played Bluff.
Damn funny, some of them were damn good at it.
Then I was like : " My Mama says I'm not good at lying. "
Oh my gawd, how true.
They did a lot of stupid stuff.
One of my friends will keep berating the others for catching the wrong bluff.
Then every time he says this, he'll catch the wrong bluff.
HAHA.
Then they went swimming at the resort pool.
Quite nice.
Very soothing.
Then they did a lot of stupid stuff too.
Splash here, splash there.
They were like, ATTACK!
Haha, funny man.
Oh, then my friend's girlfriend, is damn nice.
She keeps helping us pour drinks, make cup noodles and stuff.
She even helped us wash our sandy slippers.
Gawd.
Then when we went to sleep.
Damn, I couldn't get any coverage from the blanket.
And I was freezing through the night.
We had no space, so we kind of squeezed.
Then, some of them keep disturbing each other.
LOL.
Crazy.
The next day, we had the resort breakfast.
Not bad, some western styled thingy.
Then we had to go 2 by 2, because each of the smaller room is only supposed to have 2 occupants.
And we only booked one room.
Then each room was only given 2 vouchers.
Then we kind of sneaked in from the less conspicuous entrance, 2 by 2.
Haha.
Well, I had to go early because I'm supposed to meet another friend at 11 AM.
Then I went to Marina to eat at Billy Bombers with another bunch of friends.
Oh my gawd, the fish n' fries servings are HUMONGOUS.
Like, G-I-A-N-T.
I got spaghetti instead.
It was quite good too.
Then I had vanilla milkshake again.
Yeah, then we went around City Link to window-shop or something.
Well, in the end I got like, really tired.
Missed my train stop when I was heading for home.
Ha.
Hmm.
Piano lessons soon, and I still haven't practised.
Dead.
Sometimes, I'd like to truly smile.
Ciao.
I'd love to smile without pretence.
10:41 PM; `dead.Y
Skipped a day.
Was out.
10:37 PM; `dead.Y
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Well.
Here comes another weekend.
Haha.
Weekends huh.
Have fun then.
I too, will try my best.
You know what.
I'm really scared.
Scared that, it'll always be like this.
Just.
This.
Painful.
Silence.
I'd love to speak in acronyms, itaydan.
12:08 AM; `dead.Y
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
40.
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Friday, October 12, 2007
Had a great piano lesson today.
I think.
Hmm.
Two of my friend's birthday tomorrow.
Nice.
Had quite a day today.
Kind of.
Don't know what else too say.
Pretty much empty these days.
Maybe I don't know how to talk to myself already.
Ciao.
Dear diary.
Or something.
I'd love to be a peep into a golem.
10:12 PM; `dead.Y
Still listening to piano pieces.
Very nice ones.
Hmm, I seldom listen to classicals.
But they're okay.
Some of them are fantastic.
But I still kind of like modern ones.
Ahh, no, not those Richard Clayderman things.
No thanks.
I don't know why I'm still updating.
No one really reads this.
Except for one, or two.
Right?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
I wonder.
My hands hurts.
Probably from too much piano playing.
I always see things the wrong way.
Think things the wrong way.
And say things the wrong way.
Sometimes.
Sometimes.
I just.
There are things I'd want to do,
stuff I'd want to say,
but whenever the situation arises,
I just can't do it,
I just can't say it.
I don't know.
Maybe, I've lost the courage to care,
lost the courage to give a shit.
I keep saying it's pointless,
it's irrelevant now.
But I can't even tell if they're excuses.
I'm sorry I can't be like before,
that things weren't the way they were.
I'm sorry that I can't act like I'm okay with the way it is now,
that I can't pretend to happy.
I'm sorry that it's like this, but I can't tell if the past,
was a good thing or not.
So maybe it's for the better.
I'm sorry, I'm talking to myself.
Hmm.
The computer is quite laggy today.
I'll do up some scans and probably a defrag.
Ciao.
Dear diary.
I'd love to take you on wings, and fly away.
12:57 AM; `dead.Y
*ilikeilikeilikenovembers.*
41.
12:00 AM; `dead.Y
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Today, I heard someone ask a question.
If the chilli's spicy, act as if it's not.
Similarly, can one act as if one doesn't love another?
I heard,
since one's behaviour is decided by oneself.
Why not?
Hmm, I wonder.
Played a lot of piano today.
Really tired from it.
Like, super tired.
Hmm, I have piano lesson tomorrow.
And.. I forgot to photocopy the scores.
I forgot to practise one of the pieces.
I.. haven't finished the last part of my theory.
Oh my gawd.
Ok.
Gone.
I'd love to confess.
10:42 PM; `dead.Y
What are tears,
but convenient lies.
I'd love to stop these random thoughts.
10:45 AM; `dead.Y
I'm so exasperated, I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to feel, either.
It's really quite different now.
I don't even know if I should care.
I think I should change the name/address of this blog.
Yes, that'd be good.
Add : Turned out I couldn't because people linked me on their blogs. Wow, I can actually spare thoughts for other people.Yeah right.
1:33 AM; `dead.Y