As for today's post.
Hello.
I don't know.
Originally wanted to post something else.
But didn't, because it's all whining.
Not that this wouldn't be anyway.
Oh, recently.
I've had this dangerous thought.
Not exactly dangerous, lah.
Lah.
I was thinking,
no idea why though.
I was thinking, like these days, I don't know, that death is nothing.
Sometimes, people would remind me that, doing this particular thing is dangerous.
"Careful! Careful!," they'd say.
I'd always reply, "Aiya, die die lor."
Die.Ha.
I don't know.
Like, it isn't really that scary.
Sometimes, I'd think, what'd happen if one day, I would just go away.
Just simply, disappear.
Maybe,
it won't make any difference.
I'm not important to anyone,
no one remembers,
or even know I exist.
Maybe,
it isn't scary, because no one would remember.
Because, no one knows.
Because, it doesn't make a difference anymore.
Oh, not anymore, because it didn't make any in the past, either.
Maybe, maybe, I'm saying this because, I'd hope someone to tell me that I'm wrong.
But it wouldn't happen anyway.
Somehow, I know this.
People don't need me to be happy,
they don't need me to be around.
They had to listen to me whine, if I was around.
They'd have to listen to me complain,
to lament about life that isn't worth lamenting about.
To lament about non-existant feelings, thoughts, and stuff
that no one had given a thought about before.
Like this.
Somehow,
somewhy,
I'd think,
what would happen, what would people do,
what would people think, what would people feel.
If I suddenly just disappeared.
If I were suddenly gone.
Maybe not die, maybe just, don't exist anymore.
I don't know.
Maybe they wouldn't think anything.
Somehow, it just doesn't really matter.
Because I'm the person I am,
simply insignificant.
Not worth remembering, not worth thinking about,
not worth talking to, not worth worrying about,
not worth trying to care for, not worth putting in effort for,
not worth, not worth, not worth.
I was playing a game recently, it had a quote :
"They say true love isn't dying for the one you love.
It's about living life to the fullest for them."But what if, there isn't any.
It's just wrought in my mind, that it's like this.
Sometimes, I'd just want to say.
Bye bye.
I'm dead.