Hey,back.
Spent the whole day, sleeping, watching TV, eating, reading and doing some lifeless stuff.
I had a.. weird dream, I guess, yesterday.
I dreamt about, this girl I used to dream about, and I hadn't dreamt her in a long time.
I dreamt I.. kissed her.
Twas' a wonderful feeling.
To think someone told me I've gotten over her.
I wonder.
Saw her recently, while I was out there.
She's still as beautiful and elegant and stuff.
But she's so far away, and I'm confused.
I never knew what I wanted. Never gotten what I wanted.
Come to think of it, how do I get what I want, when I never knew what I want.
I think she used to say, "You can't lose what you never had."
I guess it's something like that.
I give up.
I think I've become.. less able to communicate with people these days.
I can't express.
I have nothing to say, at all.
People tell me I do stuff, in full consciousness, of what other people will think of what I do.
Or.
Maybe I've been like that all along.
I guess that's why I've never been in any relationships before.
It doesn't hurt either.
I emphatise with myself too much.
I'm much too sensitive, about what others think about me.
I'm not natural, I don't feel natural, had never been natural.
I try to please people too much, so much so, I've lost myself.
I..just don't have character.
Maybe I'd change.
Maybe not.
I wonder what any of you think of me.
I'll wrap up for now.
Enough self-degradation.
I'd love to be more colourful.